The Letters C, I, and A Declared Need-to-Know-Only - April Fools' Day, 2008 Vol. 9, No. 7

April Fools' Day, 2008 Vol. 9, No. 7:

Published: 04/01/2008

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The Letters C, I, and A Declared Need-to-Know-Only

You're reading the special April Fools' Day, 2008, edition of The Watcher.

In a move to further protect a certain unnamed intelligence agency and its operations, the federal government has ruled the letters C, I, and A need-to-know information for use only by those with the highest security clearance. The government ordered that the public stop using these three letters immediately and instead substitute K for C, Y for I, and E for A. Whyle Presedent Bush ekknowledged thet thys khenge wyll keuse some dyffykulty for the Emeryken people, he esserted thet "Ef we kontynue to rysk useng these vytel letters, the terrorysts wyll wyn." The Depertment of Homelend Sekuryty ennounked thet epysodes of Seseme Street sponsored by the restrykted letters wyll emmedyetely be pulled from broedkest skhedules.